Tag Archive | "craigslist"

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Lazy Weekend Edition: Craigslist Rants #2

Posted on 10 April 2010 by Joe Dimeck

lazyweekend

Ah, it’s been awhile since the last Lazy Weekend Edition. There’s been many lazy weekends, though–so lazy that I couldn’t even get a Lazy Weekend Edition post up. Nevertheless, it’s time for another batch of entertaining Craigslist Rants.

His chain is so rattled he’s using caps lock:

DO NOT EVER BUY ANYTHING FROM BUY RITE DISCOUNT STORE IN CORONA (CORONA CA)


Date: 2010-04-09, 1:49AM PDT

DO NOT EVER BUY ANYTHING FROM BUY RITE DISCOUNT STORE IN CORONA NEXT TO COSTCO! THEY ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING RIPOFFS! THE FIRST TIME I WENT THERE THEY MADE ME LEAVE MY BOTTLE OF WATER OUT SIDE THEY WOULD NOT LET ME BRING IT IN!

THIS TIME ME AND MY WIFE WENT THERE TO BUY A KITCHEN TABLE AND CHAIRS SO WE PICKED ONE OUT FOR $329.99
AND WE ASKED THE SALES GUY TO BUY IT AND HE SAID THEY MADE A MISTAKE ON THE PRICE, SO WE WAITED ABOUT 20 MINUTES
AND HE NEVER CAME BACK SO WE WENT TO LOOK FOR THE GUY AND WHEN WE CAME BACK HE SWITCHED THE TAGS ON US AND MADE THE
PRICE $729.99 AS SOON AS WE RELISED IT ANOTHER SALES PERSON CAME UP AND SIAD IF WE WHERE INTERESTED IN IT HE WOULD KNOCK 10%
OFF THE HIGHER PRICE! WTF, FUCK THAT STORE AND ALL OF THERE SALES PEOPLE! I OWN MY OWN BUSINESS AND HAVE NEVER DONE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT BEFORE! NOT A MEAN PERSON BUT THOSE PEOPLE RATTLE MY CHAIN!

BOTTOM LINE STAY AWAY FROM BUY RITE IN CORONA CA! SHOULD BE CALLED BULL SHIT DISCOUNT STORE!

He’s apparently an “informed White Guy”:

Expired LIcense / DUI Checkpoint


Date: 2010-04-08, 9:25AM PDT


This is just something self-righteous assholes get a kick out of by saying you are the one who fucked up. These Psycho Right winger Nutcases LOVE their POLICE STATE, wouldn’t be happy until all of our freedoms have been stripped and we get ticketed for Jaywalking $300. They would love nothing more than to Bend Over and Take it in the ass if the Government wanted it. The truth is, it could happen to anyone and when it happens to them, they’re not going to be so “Gung Ho” about the Law

“car jackers, taggers, escaped convicts, child molesters, shoplifters, bank robbers, scofflaws and those driving on an expired license should be allowed to go on their way”

Nice Strawman diversion you put up there. Because when a woman taking her daughter to a Job interview forgets to renew her license… she’s a serial rapist!

Why don’t you Right wing fucks stop taking your daily dose of Brainwashed Faux News Psycho Christian New World Order bullshit and Open your eyes to the Issues. A woman’s license is expired 3 weeks and you mother fuckers act like she just robbed a Bank.Shame on all you assholes.

-Signed, an Informed White guy

Got this off the Israel Craigslist directory:

Why do Chareidi women bend over so often to pull up their stockings???


Date: 2010-04-01, 1:02PM IDT


They’re always bending over to pull up their stockings. Then they have to adjust their bra through their shirts because it got pulled out of place. This is the total opposite of the prudish modesty they pretend to stand for! Purchase tights / stockings that fit and stop giving everyone a show by exposing your legs by lifting your skirt and then snapping your bra back into place while you scratch your skin in the place under your bra that got itchy from your improperly fitted bra that painfully squeezes your breasts. Also, your hard nipples can clearly be seen through your shirt, so you should do something about that. Maybe nipple pads?

In a very ironic way, this person proves their point about the sorry state of education:

Go to Hell NJEA and School Adminstrators (Ocean County)


Date: 2010-04-09, 7:13PM EDT


Thanks for raping me NJEA….Just so everyone knows the NJEA is the devil. They force people to pay over $1,000/yr for their “services” and don’t do shit. Schools are NOT run by qualified teachers. They are run by whoever’s mother gives the best head to the superintendent. NEPATISM at it’s finest here at our public schools. Educate yourselves people…MERIT DOES NOT EXIST IN NJ PUBLIC SCHOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!

They are really pissed:

STOOPID BITCH WHO RAN ME OFF.. (Toms River)


Date: 2010-03-28, 3:17AM EDT


To the fucking cunt in the tan/brown van who decided not to stop when she pulled outa the home depote around 11:00pm on Friday night, HOW DID YOU NOT SEE ME, 1…AND HOW DID YOU KEEP DRIVING AFTER YOU RAN IN FRONT OF ME AND DROVE ME INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC AFTER I JUMPED THE CURB/CENTER DIVIDER. You are a stupid, reckless cunt who deserves to be punched in the head…THANKS BITCH!!!! Luckly I was able to go home to my family without any broken bones…CUNT!

For Pete’s sake, you’re making her puke up her danish:

Tights and Stretch Pants, why???


Date: 2010-04-03, 10:58PM EDT


Okay, I normally don’t do this but really I am at the end of my rope. It seems that stretch pants are the new fashion staple and I find myself wondering if anyone else is having trouble with this new trend. I tried to forget about it, reassuring myself that this trend, like so many others before it , would be gone in a month or two. I am becoming increasingly worried that women, turned on by the extreme comfort of these items, may actually decide to keep tights as a staple in their wardrobe. I implore you, do not do it. If you must do it I beg you to be honest with yourself. Don’t ask your boyfriend how you look because you have already trained him to reply with, “Fine dear” so you won’t get an honest opinion out of him. Go to the mirror and look at yourself from multiple angles and be honest with yourself. Just because you are twenty does not mean you get an automatic pass to wear tights. Just because you are a size 0 does not mean you will automatically look good in tights. There are a very few select, extremely lucky gals who can get away with wearing these tights and I bet you , you’re not one of them. In case you are having a hard time deciding if you should jump on this trend bandwagon, allow me to help you out. If you wear a size in the double digits, please let this one go. I too am a double digit girl, so don’t think I am picking on you. If I went outside wearing tights I would expect you to laugh at me, I would expect all the teenage boys to snicker as I walked past, I would expect a six year old little girl to look at me with disgust and ask her mommy why I am wearing that. If I see you in tights and you wear double digits, trust that I will be laughing at you in between throwing up in my hand. I really cannot tolerate anymore cellulite than my own. Really, I have enough to look at every morning and it makes me sick to look at my own, so why dear God, do you think I want to look at yours???WHY!?

Skinny girl, you are not off the hook on this one either. Honestly, do you have to wear a thong with you stretch pants? Do you really? All I want to do is eat my morning danish in peace without having to see another females anatomy. I don’t want to see the curve of your nonexistent, flat ass. We all love comfort and that’s fine but the nest time you throw on a pair of hot pink tights please put a tshirt over them, because I paid almost three bucks for my danish and I don’t want to have to puke it up. thanks

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Lazy Weekend Edition: Craigslist Rants #1

Posted on 03 January 2010 by Joe Dimeck

lazyweekendMaybe you have ventured to the Rants and Raves section of your local Craigslist. If you have, then you probably spent a few hours reading through the absolutely hilarious mental upchucks and inane arguments that are scattered throughout the page. And since weekends, especially Sundays, are to be days of relaxation here are some Craigslist rants, cherry-picked for your convenience.

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Drugs 2.0! How to buy coke and other drugs on Craigslist

Posted on 02 December 2008 by Brian James

Craigslist is the internet’s paradise island of opportunity. From renting out bathrooms to recruiting bank robber accomplices, the simple yet popular classified website has brought together employers and job hunters, landlords and tenants, buyers and sellers, cheating husbands and prostitutes, even drug dealers and web savvy drug users. That’s right; drugs 2.0!

Special narcotics prosecutor Bridget Brennan and a team of prosecutors are leading the online drug war in an effort to influence Craigslist to curb ads featured on their site selling illegal drugs. Brennan has recently written a letter to the online trade post concerning the growing issue. However, Brennan’s undercover agents have already arrested dozens of dealers selling cocaine, ecstasy and other drugs.

So who are the dealers? How about anyone from a Citigroup banker to an Ivy Leaguer to an ex-convict? If this sounds sketchy to you that’s because it is. Although, you can argue that it’s similar to using that NYC weed delivery service your co-worker referred to you.

Sound tempting? Are you brave enough to tap into the web surfing, ad posting, drug pushing exchange?

Here’s a guide to scoring your first bag of blow via Craigslist: Continue Reading

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Craigslist worst of the worst: Looking for the best housing deal in Brooklyn?

Posted on 20 October 2008 by Brian James

Found this on Williamsburg hipster message board williamsboard.com. The ad on craigslist says the Bedford Ave. room has a private bathroom. That’s because it actually is the bathroom…

A bed, dresser and a private bathroom for $550 a month? Best deal you’ll find in the burg!

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Spell Checking is Dead!

Posted on 02 September 2008 by Thaddeus Stanley

Report by Thaddeus Stanley, Army of Epiphenomenon

It has come to my attention that the art of checking one’s spelling is dead. I’m a working man, groomed on the saying “measure twice, cut once.” Nowadays, it seems that the saying could go, “spell check once, or appear as a complete horse’s ass.”

Take this Craig’s List ad I recently ran across:

“a wood aamwa that is two pieces each has a cubard and three joars vary nice please call 719-393-8020 ask for todd”

“aamwa”, “cubard”, “joars”, and “vary” … try “armoire”, “cupboard”, “drawers”, and “very” you retard. Unfortunately, the person who listed the “aamwa” indicated that, “it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests,” so I didn’t contact the poster with my editing services.

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