It might be a week too late for a story about a curse, but given the difficulties the Dolphins are experiencing this season–and the pact I made in January–it is clear that the Dolphins are a cursed organization.  How else could you explain so many heart-breaking losses this season?  Losses that should’ve been wins.  And [...] Continue Reading

After reading this New York Times article on The Onion's staff, I felt inspired to gun for a coveted internship with this forward-thinking publication. Continue Reading

There is honestly nothing better as a Dolphins’ fan than watching the Jets get beat by Miami twice in one season.  For a dark period of time, it was the other way around.  The Jets would win, and being from New Jersey, all my Jets’ fan friends would run their mouths, somehow tying the Dolphins [...] Continue Reading

After a comeback victory against the Jets, a Week 6 Bye, and 2 weeks to prep for what should’ve been a statement game, the Miami Dolphins have regressed to 2-4, sitting comfortably (under the fucking Bills) at the bottom of the AFC East.  Why does this happen Miami?  Why are you so good at creating [...] Continue Reading

Talk about coming through when necessary.  Not only does the win against the Jets keep Miami’s future solely in their hands, but it leaves them 2-0 in the AFC East, which is looking like a division that won’t be decided until Week 17.  Chad Henne and his performance on Monday was somewhat unexpected, but more [...] Continue Reading

Miami, you did good.  Sure, it was a division game, and those are typically a toss-up regardless of how bad or good one team is, but that was just the kind of victory that leads to winning streaks.  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  While the secondary stepped up in a huge way, there [...] Continue Reading

Pennington is done for the season. It feels like déjà vu, but this time I’m on the other end of it. Now Jets’ fans get to laugh at the misfortune of a division rival. Call it karma. Call it shitty luck. Either way the stache looks like it will remain in tact. Continue Reading

I feel like I got cheated on.  As though my girlfriend of 15 years went out one night, got smashed, and found herself the center of a bukkake party that was aired on prime-time television.  Miami, what in Shula’s name was that?  You did nearly everything right and you still managed to lose.  Not only [...] Continue Reading

What the hell was that, Miami?  You have the talent and the coaching, but yet you somehow manage to start off the season on a very sour note.  When both safeties lead the team in tackles there’s a problem.  But the real problem wasn’t the Falcons’ porno-deep penetration into the secondary.  No, it was the [...] Continue Reading