Maybe you have ventured to the Rants and Raves section of your local Craigslist. If you have, then you probably spent a few hours reading through the absolutely hilarious mental upchucks and inane arguments that are scattered throughout the page. And since weekends, especially Sundays, are to be days of relaxation here are some Craigslist rants, cherry-picked for your convenience.

1) This was apparently written by a character from South Park:

RE: RE: JAY-Z AKA MR. SEAN CARTER (is a fake) (Whites Want Rap So Badl (aww poor nignog can’t handle the truth)

white men own and control what these’ ‘rappers’ do and sing face it, that’s the truth. truth hurts you, i can tell.

white people don’t want to rap sooo bad as you claim you ass. actually the very first rap in a song was by a WHITE WOMAN.
shows how much you fucking know. blacks copied music and just changed some things around to make ‘their own’. That’s how
black hiphop music came about. but i forgot you’re such a musical historian you already know that.

Just incase you forgot… black people used use djs to play the breaks of hit songs (which were dominantly sung by white artists), the DJ would
beat juggle that part of the song without lyrics and a MC would sing or ‘rap’ on it, rap = freestyling. Also break dancing comes from
the mumbo, salsa and other forms of spanish dance. blacks didn’t create that either but took moves from those forms of dance. Just like MJ
copied dance moves from various artists from the past, MJ never originally created any of his moves.

It’s all a show, fucktard. I know you can’t believe that your idols are all fake and controlled by white business men.
It’s not just Jay-Z it’s EVERY single musical star out there. White or black, hiphop, rock, pop…
Jay Z writes his own lyrics cause he raps about what only blacks know?!?!?!?….HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
GOD YOU ARE ONE FUCKTARD. What I meant by the guy can’t speak properly means he speaks like a little child…
he has no clue on rhyming and construction of linguistics (not sentences) WHICH IS VITAL TO SONG WRITING YOU FUCK.
You think he fucking wrote Empire state of Mind? Do you know how genius that song actually is? Carter didn’t write that shit.

Be in denial fucktard. These guys aren’t you ‘brothers’ just like Obama ain’t black.
Let you know, I’m not white. Shows how much you know, ignorant fucktard who thinks he knows all.
BTW, I used be security for these guys, this is how I know it’s all a fucking show. I’m more hood than any of these
dick sucking fuckers are. And fuck you, you’re helping ruining the black culture.

link: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/1535038430.html

2) Irony in action:

To the anti-military bitch at my job today (LM)

How classic. You walked away from this woman but you boast how tough and brave you are on-line? You had a legitimate chance to put someone in their place (who needed to hear it) and you were a coward. You have no problem spewing your tough-girl stances all day and night long to everyone on R&R, but when you were face-to-face with someone, you couldn’t bring it. Your excuse was that “she wasn’t worth it.”

FRAUD.

link: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/1534506466.html

3) If you read it in an Eastern European accent it’s quite entertaining:

Albanian Mafia Scum

In the last twenty years the Albanians have become a organized crime force to reckon with, they are for the most part, the most worthless criminal scum known to man.
Why does the civilized western world put up with this?
Why aren’t these people lined up and shot dead?

Milosovich was trying to do the world a favor and get rid of trash like this, what happened, Clinton took the wrong side!
The Serbs tried to defend themselves against people like this, and the US interfered citing genocide.

Now who has to pay the price, the citizenry of the US?

Bring back swift justice, wild west style. Scum like this should be shot dead on site, by goverment agents.

link: http://newyork.craigslist.org/wch/rnr/1534473382.html

4) Thanks for the warning:

Watchout for Asian gold diggers

These Asian women of bayarea are searching high and low for suckers to take them so they can hook them and destory their lives. You can tell by their ads that they are not really interested in you (never been married, no kids, financially secure) they are only interested in your money!!. I have met 4 of them so far and first of all, they were not beauty, sexy or cute as they said they were, None were educated beyond high school, most were either in cosmetics, hair or other crappy jobs and they tend to chase dumb guys that can easily get hooked. They were all interested in plans for having a family and baby….its all bullshit, don’t fall into their traps. You see an ad from an Asian woman in CL, please ask them what they have to offer in return for what their asking? I bet you the answer is none

link: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/rnr/1535014836.html

5) This guy starts off sounding like a really angry person, but by the end he just sounds bat-shit crazy:

Hey Simpson you “MORON”

There is not a Roadster that is worth $190,000.00 , I have a 1957 MGBGT Roadster that belonged to my dad and now it is mine and it no where worth that kind of money and it is in mint condition . “LIAR” I also have a 1949 Caddy Coupe that was my grand mothers and it is in restored mint condition and it isn’t even worth that much ” LIAR” I have a 1957 Chevy BelAire 2 door hard top also in restored mint condition with the original A.M. Radio and all vinyl tuck and roll interior that is not worth that much. All 3 total maybe that much , but you are a ” LIAR” no one roadster is worth $190,000.00 sorry Charlie only Star Kist gets the best Tuna .

As far as my spelling goes , if you worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week at the job and business I have you would be tired and mispell to , but then again you don’t know what hard work is . You and your drugs standing on the corner distributing and all your boys running other corners selling your deadly crap . You and your fraudulent money from welfare , unemployment , and social security and your ill gotten money from your hookers on the streets , you haven’t done an honest days work in your life ” TURDBOY ” or ” CARTOON BOY ”

Grow up and get a life . By the way how much did your kit car actually cost you ? hu ? maybe at the outside $30,000.00 as did my Nissan Altima ? My other cars in my garage and drive way sure are inherited , but at least i own them out right. Your drive way was built by 2 of your drug delaers and at most cost you $5,000.00 in lost revenue from your drugs. CHEAP LABOR. Ya my house and my condo are paid for and paid off , and i live the luxury life here but time for a change and change it will be and not your OBAMABUTT change either .

Hey BatMan how much did your Bat Mobile cost you ? or did you blow Robin to build it for you . Must have been nice to blow a big fat cock to have someone do something for you , and as far as your comment about my mom goes , no it was your mom that spread her legs for me last night TURDBOY !!!!.

You know it is funny that you can sit in judgement and be a big man behind your key board but i will tell you , why don’t you come out here or wait about 2 weeks because all the cars I have will be in Santa Rosa in about 3 weeks shipped by Matson and then come to my place and see some REAL cars , that have won show stppers trophys like 1st place in all categories. My 57 Chevy will be in the winter drags at Riverside raceway this year and winter nationals in Daytona also , so come on down , come out from behind your key board and see some REAL show stopping action .

Of course you won’t because you are all of about 450 pounds and need a forklift to get around . Gee aint it a bitch to be a Californian and be so damn fat and ugly ? must make you shrivel up and it becomes useless because no one can find it unless you have a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers.

So long BART THE FAGOTT MAGGOT !!!!!!!!

link: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/rnr/1534998979.html