It might be a week too late for a story about a curse, but given the difficulties the Dolphins are experiencing this season–and the pact I made in January–it is clear that the Dolphins are a cursed organization.  How else could you explain so many heart-breaking losses this season?  Losses that should’ve been wins.  And after doing some thinking, I realized my decision to grow a mustache of support may have actually been some ironic gesture of cosmic ill will.  My stupid decision damned my own team, and it damned my life as well.

When you look like a cartoon villain, it makes first impressions oh so much harder.  So, by ridding myself of the stache the curse should be lifted, and I have gone from this:

To this:

Since Miami needs a miracle 8-game winning streak to have a chance at the postseason, I figured now would be the time to alter the cosmos and perhaps salvage this season. So the stache is gone, swallowed by the drain of my sink.  Only time will tell if the curse has been lifted, but so far it has been a relief to not be personally burdened by a weak little mustache that is darker and fuller on one side while being nearly transparent on the other.