Craigslist is the internet’s paradise island of opportunity. From renting out bathrooms to recruiting bank robber accomplices, the simple yet popular classified website has brought together employers and job hunters, landlords and tenants, buyers and sellers, cheating husbands and prostitutes, even drug dealers and web savvy drug users. That’s right; drugs 2.0!
Special narcotics prosecutor Bridget Brennan and a team of prosecutors are leading the online drug war in an effort to influence Craigslist to curb ads featured on their site selling illegal drugs. Brennan has recently written a letter to the online trade post concerning the growing issue. However, Brennan’s undercover agents have already arrested dozens of dealers selling cocaine, ecstasy and other drugs.
So who are the dealers? How about anyone from a Citigroup banker to an Ivy Leaguer to an ex-convict? If this sounds sketchy to you that’s because it is. Although, you can argue that it’s similar to using that NYC weed delivery service your co-worker referred to you.
Sound tempting? Are you brave enough to tap into the web surfing, ad posting, drug pushing exchange?
Here’s a guide to scoring your first bag of blow via Craigslist:
1.) Get down with the terminology.
Learning the drug 2.0 lingo is easier than trying to teach yourself Italian using Rosseta Stone. Chances are that you already know some of the crucial keywords! Regress back to yourself circa junior year of high school. What were some of those drug code/slang words and phrases you used?
Cocaine (Ski, snow, yayo).
Crystel Meth (Christina or Tina).
Marijuana (Mary Jane, Mary J, Sacajawea, herbs, pot, etc).
2.) Know what to look for.
Now that you’re familiar with the language, you’re going to need to know how to spot these words used within classified ads. Look for incorrect, out of place or out-of-season usage. For example, if you see “Ski lift tickets for sale!” and it’s July or “Tina Turner tickets” when no such concert exists, then you’re on the right track.
3.) Know where to look.
The For Sale section is the most obvious place to look, but also scour the Community, Discussion Forums, Services and Gigs sections. Searching for drug 2.0 keywords utilizing the Search Craigslist feature in the left column is pretty handy too.
4.) Drop that email!
Write up a short email expressing your interest in purchasing whatever was offered. Use the drug 2.0 lingo and don’t include anything incriminating. Using your work email is not advised.
5.) Don’t get busted.
Don’t be stupid. You’re an adult. You can surf the net all by yourself now! And always meet in a public place… the Citigroup banker is harmless but that ex-con might shank your ass and take your new pair of kicks.
If you read this post and are convinced that we’re seriously promoting the purchase of illegal drugs via the internet then you’re definitely going to get busted.
What do you think about buying/selling drugs online? Is this the future of the multi-billion dollar illegal drug trade?
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 pm
The war on drugs is such a waste…
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Agreed Dan… I also agree with many in the notion that the war on drugs even exists!
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Our leaders won’t stop waging war on ideas until we as people accept that wars on ideas are impossible to win and more costly than learning to tolerate. Of course, if we stop believing in impossible wars, then we’ll start debating about our oil addiction and more people will come to realize that every military effort since the end of WWII has been to increase our control over oil trade…
December 5th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Don’t even get me ranting.
I like this idea, but I doubt I’ll ever be perusing craigslist when I want to smoke a blunt.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:38 pm
How about names for painkillers?
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