Transgender Day of Remembrance

So its been a long while since I’ve posted, being so busy with work and a musical I am currently in. But I have been working on this article for a while and now I’m glad its ready. I hope it do it justice.

For most people November 20th, is just another day. People in the United States are prepping for the holidays possibly making sure they have all the right elements ready for Thanksgiving. People in Mexico might be observing the Anniversary of the Revolution, Unicef has their Children’s Day, and a small percentage of people, like me, will be observing November 20th as Transgender Day of Remembrance.

So what is Transgender Day of Remembrance? Its a day not just for those of us who are transgendered, or any other gender-variant. Its a day that that is set aside for EVERYONE to bind together and remember those killed due to anti-transgender hatred. It first started to honor Rita Hester, who was murdered in November of 1998.

This day is also to remind those that are not transgendered, that we are a part of their lives. Their children, parents, friends, lovers, and everything else. It gives our friends and family a chance to come forward and remember with us, those who were killed by anti-transgender violence.

And while the transgender community is small, we are growing, as people are feeling more comfortable with coming out and starting the journey to their true selves.

Thanks to the internet it has been easier for transgendered people to come together and talk. Sharing stories, helping others, and relating to the process. I post videos of my progress on YouTube, but not as often as I would like. There are quite a few that I do watch on a regular basis. I was lucky to have the opportunity to talk with them and ask them about how they feel about Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Fellow transman Mason, also known as fuzzypuppy28 on YouTube is twenty-two of Washington, DC. I asked what Transgender Day of Remembrance meant to him and he said, “At the core, TDoR is a time that we can take a moment and pay respect to those who have had the greatest gift taken from them. Unfortunately, it is a time that we must think about those who we have lost in order to recognize and be thankful for what opportunities we have. And in the face of that, TDoR is a day we should work to build community and visibility against these kinds of injustices so that those we have lost will not be vainly forgotten.” Joining the many other trans people online by talking about their lives on YouTube you are still faced with hurtful messages and comments. “Most often messages like this focus on how no matter what I do to my body I will “never really be a man.” Thankfully these kinds of feelings have only ever been expressed to me through that online filter, but anyone harboring hateful feelings has a potential to turn violent in other ways when such a filter is not present.” says Mason.

Twenty-four year old trans woman Ashley, also known as icecoldbath on YouTube, is from Upstate New York. She says, “TDOR is a day of mourning. It is a day to come together with my sisters and brothers to remember our dead. To rekindle the fire that has many of us working so hard to end transphobia and to act as a reminder to all of us that our lives, especially of us women, are constantly at risk.”

Ashley is taking part of TDoR at a nearby University. She also has fears of anti-transgender violence but was also a victim of being violently raped. Her attacker had a clear disgust for trans people. She says, “I try very hard not to be alone in public, especially at night. I fear verbal abuse and violence from most cisfolk around me.”

In Massachusetts twenty-three year old Kristopher, known on YouTube as CaptJackSavvy, is also transgendered. He says, “I have fears of being a victim of not just anti-transgender violence but of homophobia as well. As an openly gay man I have faced verbal harassment while holding hands with my boyfriend in public. I sometimes fear that I will be “found out” when in a bathroom or locker room and will be hurt as a result. The restrooms are where I face most of my fears regarding potentially transphobic situations because it is the one public place where evidence of my birth sex is literally most exposed. I believe a lot of other trans people feel the same.” Kris is helping to organize a vigil with his campus’ Gay-Straight Alliance.

There are ONLY 12 states and Washington, DC with hate crime laws that include gender identity. Only 12, which is a real shame. So what are the numbers?

YEAR Deaths In U.S. International Deaths Total

1998 10 3 13

1999 14 1 15

2000 12 7 19

2001 13 2 15

2002 16 16 32

2003 16 16 32

2004 14 15 29

2005 16 13 29

2006 7 9 16

2007 8 10 18

2008* 12 7 19

Total 138 99 237

* year not over yet. Although 2006 and 2007 were drastically less, so far this year in the the U.S. alone, we are back to the double digits.

Do I have fears of my own? Of course! Just like all the other trans people out there, everyday I step outside my home and into the world, I risk my life. There are times where I think about people that are anti-transgender and might act on that. I think most of us transgendered people think about it, and will probably have to think about it for the rest of our lives. Just as I’m sure other minorities will have to. Did I choose to be transgendered? No. But I did choose to come out and live my life as my true self, and I have nor will I ever have any regrets about that.

Realistically do I think we, as people, can erase all the hatred in the world so that we won’t ever have to worry about it? No. But do I think we can lessen it? Yes, as long as we keep educating people and help them learn and understand. That is where I believe hate comes from, lack of knowledge. We just need to keep educating and having people learn! That’s all we can do. We can’t force people to think a certain way and force people to stop hate, but what we hopefully can do, is educate people and hopefully with that education, they will learn and understand that we are all equal as people, and as human beings.

From Santa Rosa, California, 24 year old Sarah, also known as pigpen7471 on YouTube and part of a YouTube channel called Trannystar Galactica is another trans woman I was honored to talk with. She will be with friends for TDoR for her first time taking part in this day. She again just like all of us have fears of anti-transgender violence, and travels with friends.

If we could just say one thing to try to change the minds of the people that are anti-transgender, I think Sarah wrapped it up the best, “We’re all people, treat us like people, don’t treat us like animals, we are people too.”