To have and to hold

The other day, I took my daughter with me to buy a cocktail dress. In the dressing room I asked her what she thought of the dress I had on. She looked at me, got up, took my hand and asked, “Mommy will you marry me?”

It was a sweet moment, or at least it should have been. Soon, though, she may only be able to ask me to join in her in civil union.

In California and Arizona there are propositions to define what marriage is. There are people that want marriage to be declared by the government as the union of a man and a woman. They want to lay claim to the word marriage, saying that they don’t want to take away gay rights, they just don’t want them to be able to say they are married.

Only a man and a woman can honor their love?

Here’s where the irony comes in. Many Christian based groups want to have marriage be their word, but the Barna Research Group found that the divorce rate in Christian groups is higher then it is in Atheist groups. Worse still, the divorce rate is higher because people inside the church are committing adultery more than those outside of it. It is hard to swallow a lecture about what marriage is from a group that hasn’t figured out what it is either.

Marriage is a mystery to everyone. No man, woman, straight or gay person could tell you what marriage is. Is it about love? Procreation? Commitment? Life? I’ve been happily married for over 6 years, but I still don’t think I have understanding what it is. I go to bed every night having learned something new about marriage. What I do believe is at the base of any marriage is love. Sexual orientation doesn’t prevent anyone from possessing the ability to love.

Denying someone the right to marriage is telling them that their love isn’t good enough. Love is love, plain and simple.

They can try to call it whatever they want, but gay people will continue to fall in love, live together, honoring each other and staying true to the relationship. Which is better than can be said for those trying to fight it.